Everyone Needs a Plan

 

Even better, is a vision and one person, at the very least, who knows about it.

First, there are the legal documents that help ensure that your wishes are carried out when you are no longer able to act or speak or for yourself. The forms needed vary by state and you can find online services that offer to help you complete them. You should consult an attorney to be sure your documents are correct and legally binding.

Legal documents include

  • Two directives are needed although some states combine them into one document. One is often called a ‘Living Will’ and describes what kind of medical care you wish to have if /when you are unable speak for yourself. This includes things like the conditions under which you do not wish to be resuscitated, or receive IV fluids.

    The other directive states who you wish to make medical decisions about your healthcare on your behalf if /when you are unable to do so yourself. This is commonly referred to as giving someone Durable Power of Attorney or making them your Healthcare Proxy.

  • There are two types:

    General Power of Attorney permits a person of your choosing to act on your behalf in matters of your finances or property but this authorization ends if /when you become unable to make decisions for yourself.

    A Durable Power of Attorney may continue to make decisions on your behalf even if /when you become unable to make decisions for yourself.

  • Leave instructions on how your finances and other property are to be dispersed. You may also choose to protect assets in a trust for future use under particular conditions.

    An ‘executor’ is the person you designate to ensure that your instructions are carried out.

Several entities offer ‘do-it-yourself’ forms that serve most people’s needs free of charge. FreeWill is one such and partners with non-profits to make planning your charitable bequests easy.

Man with a VW van making a plan

Creating Your Vision

It can be hard to think about your own death. You may feel grief for all you will leave behind, or about life going on without you. Thinking of loved ones and the impact your death will have on them can be heart wrenching. It can also provide the impetus to plan now and make things better for them when the time does come.

It may help to begin at the end. Imagine a beautiful final resting place, somewhere that would bring visitors fond memories of you. Can you be buried there? Or will you arrive as NOR soil, or ash? Learn about disposition and choose your ideal option. Decide on a back up too, in case the ideal is not possible, and make note of anything that you definitely do not want to happen with your remains.

Next, what kind of funeral rites hold meaning for you? Rituals help those in grief to process their loss but they need not be religious if that dose not fit with your beliefs. What kind of after death care will allow the people closest to you express their love and care for you?

You have arrived at the days around the end of your life. What is the soundtrack, a lifetime’s playlist or someone reading your favorite book? Perhaps it’s bird song or children playing in the yard. Where do you want to be, what can you see? Write it all down and you might find yourself surprised by feelings of love, gratitude, maybe even joy, as you reflect.

Have ‘The Conversation’

Your planning may be for nought if your next of kin does not know where to find the documents when the need for them arises. Be sure at least one person close to you knows they exist and where you keep them, and tell your doctor also.

Think about telling all of the people who matter most to you. It may be a difficult conversation to start, particularly when you are ‘young’ and in good health, but it is important. It is an opportunity to speak about your values and beliefs, and to connect more deeply to those who matter most to you.

When the time comes, it will be immensely helpful for the people who love you to know that the decisions they are making on your behalf are in accordance with your wishes. End-of-life can be a time of stress and anxiety and there is consolation in feeling confident that the path that chosen is the path being followed.

 

“I learned I couldn’t skip over the emotions that made me uncomfortable. And in the end I didn’t want to. There is a complicated brew of emotions swirling in each of us.

It’s what makes us feel alive.”

— from Dipped In It by Bethany Harvey